I'm beginning to think that I spend most of my time being drawn to my blog to write about cats. Not sure what is going on there. Maybe I should start a whole new blog dedicated to this species of animals that touch your heart.
Today marks the one year anniversary of the loss of my cat Stu. Stu departed the earth realm on August 19th, 2014. I woke up this morning, knowing that today might be a little difficult. I knew that my heart might feel raw as the memories of his death would come flooding in. So I'd set out to do something special, a little ceremony in celebration of his life and death.
However, the universe had something special in-store for me. This morning I found myself looking for Oso. Oso is our little grey kitten that knocked at the door last November. You can read about his arrival in one of my previous blogs. Oso is a gift from the universe. I'd asked for him and the universe delivered him.
Oso was not around this morning for his usual feeding time. I thought this was a bit strange as he never misses a meal. I poured myself a cup of coffee and headed out to Stu's tree where I could converse with him and ask him how he wanted to celebrate today. In my silent conversation with him I'd asked if he'd seen Oso and that I was a little concerned. A few sips of coffee later, a voice peeped into my head and said "check the road". My heart skipped a beat, I put my coffee down and walked to our road. Up ahead, I could see something in the middle of it. A blob of something. Was it Oso? I put my coffee down and started to walk towards this lump in the road. As I got closer, I started to run. Well you know where this story is going. It was Oso. He'd been hit by a car in the night. My little Oso was gone!
Life on earth is truly precious. We have no idea how long we are here for. One minute here, next minute gone, in a blink of an eye. When does death come knocking at the door? Are we ever prepared for it? What about those of us left behind? Are we ever prepared for the loss of our loved one? I believe I have a very healthy attitude around death and I'm not afraid of it. But having said so, it doesn't alleviate the pain in the heart we feel when someone we love is gone. When the shock settles down, and the grieving begins, you start to remember the loss of all others before. You find yourself "feeling" a universal loss and sometimes can see yourself being swallowed up by grief.
Can you grieve for a cat just as much or maybe even more than say a sister, brother, father, or mother? Is there any limit to the love we can have for another living being? Is it better to grieve alone or with others? Do other animals feel loss as well? So many questions and so much pain.
For me this day represented 2 losses for 2 cats. As I sat and cried for Oso underneath one of our old oak trees, my dogs also cried the primordial cry. They sensed through my tears of grief that we lost one of our pack members. They too can feel, they too can grieve. As I shared the story of Oso's passing: all of my friends felt his loss and shared in the grief. And I know as you read this, you too will feel the loss.
There is no shame in grieving for a cat or a dog when they are gone. We bring them into our lives to join our families, so when they are gone it feels like a missing puzzle piece.
There is beauty in grief. A beauty so undeniable, that it awakens and illuminates the soul. For to have loved so much and to have felt the love in return, unconditional is one of life's greatest miracles that we experience as humans. If you are grieving it means that you experienced the beauty of love. How amazing is that!
I leave you with the riddle of love:
"Everything it gives you it takes it away. But would you have it any other way?"
Hello, hello my name is Oso,
Carole is the owner and operator of the Calder House Bed & Breakfast along with her partner Grant. Read more about the everyday happenings and events at the Calder House!